Thursday, October 22, 2015

speaking of splendid spacious spectacular stinted snikering spiders...

Do spiders enjoy life? Seriously do spiders enjoy life?
When you flush them down the toilet do they get an exciting adrenalin rush of going at high speeds?
I would think that spider get a sense of accomplishment when they win a battle with a wasp and have a juicy dinner. Maybe spiders have legends about other spiders. Like maybe a legend about the first spider in space. I also wonder if they get depressed when they are about to be smashed (pun kind of unintended, well who am I kidding, that was 100% intended.
So next time you want to squish a spider remember that they have feelings (maybe). Then remember right after thinking about that, that their are millions of spiders, so go ahead and squish it as it will have a negligible effect on the ecosystem.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Oh no the uncivilized masses of YAHOOs are surfing the web!

If you did not take high school literature or just did not read Gulliver's Travels, then you skipped out on a forgettable experience. In this book, Gulliver  comes across a primitive people group called the Yahoos. Primitive does not describe them accurately. In fact they are more primitive than a sea cucumber. Anyway the only way that these Yahoos survive is because the horses, who are intelligent, look out for them. This got me pondering. Why would you name your company after a primitive race of humans? I mean isn't  Houyhnhnms much easier to pronounce?
As I was saying, if you were to name your internet company Yahoo, than you probably wanted to make the people who use your services sound intelligent. Because the obvious conclusion is that people who use Yahoo are Yahoos.
I also wonder if this means that the managers at Yahoo are called Houyhnhnms.
And if you are wondering what I am saying, join the club! I am kind of  confused my self.

Thursday, October 8, 2015


Many people have arachnid phobia. Approximately half of the women in the US, and a quarter of the men in the US suffer from it. That is too many. Why are people afraid of a small creature that is probably not poisonous. That is about 2% of 63000 different species of spiders or poisonous! It probably is the fact that spiders a crawly creatures that kill harmful insects. Or maybe because they bite insects that walk into their web. Well you know what? Statistically you might have eaten a spider in your sleep. Did you die? Obviously not if you are reading this. If you are dead and reading this. Um. Why would you be reading a blog. Go out their and do something! That is if you are dead. Okay that was weird. What was I saying? Yeah, something about spiders. hmm. Oh yes that's right. As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, spiders are great pets. Don't laugh, if you release an egg sac in your house, I bet that you will find many less bugs that are more dangerous than spider. Bugs such as flies. That's another thing, why aren't people afraid of flies?

Friday, October 2, 2015

Electric eyeballs

I was thinking that it would be funny if their was a virus. what this virus would do, would be to cause the people who caught this virus to pluck out their eyeballs and replace it with a titanium a socket. This way they would have a literal eye socket. The poor person would then screw in Edison lightbulbs into their sockets. The virus would rewire the brain so that it could somehow cause the lightbulbs to light up. And then they would walk with their arms outstretched and every slow lumbering step they would flash their Edison. Now why can't they have that as a zombie in a movie!
Oh no make sure you don't get attacked by the lightbulb zombie!!!! You might catch the virus, RUN!!