Monday, March 13, 2017

Pun Battle



I had the best pun-off with a friend over chat. Here it is
Me: Stash tee should make a flavor of tea called candy
so instead of having a candy stash you have a stash candy

Friend: That might actually be really good tea
Good itea

Me:
puns so good, you have a line of people wanting to hear them
a pun-ch line

Friend: That pun was adjaycent to the current subject...you're really going for the opposite effect here. sighne
Me: hehe
Friend: Sorry had to tangent on that one
Me: that's okay it just means that you have to co-sine on my loan
Friend: I guess so, but can you make sure to put this in the natural log of our loaning history? Gotta keep track of it.
Me: I will, it should be a piece of pi
Friend: This is the 2.72nd time it's happened, maybe we're being a bit irrational a fraction of the time and should try to factor out these loaning issues
Me: I personally think that all these issues are imaginary and quite complex
Friend:

Are you sure you aren't being too negative? I think you're crossing the number-line

Me: I am not negative I am just uncertain, as hi-zed-berg told me.
Friend:

You need a knuth-ought on this conversation



These puns have so much volume, it's boyle-ing my blood under all the pressure
Me:Sorry its because I am in my element
Friend:

Only periodically
Which gets a bit borong

Me: that is what happens when you stick me in a crooke-d tube
Friend: Watch out, you might be at the base of the  reaction in that tube
Me: watch out for your acidic atti-tube

Friend:

Don't get so NaCl-y




They'll start calling you a pi-rate
Me: because I come like a torrent
Friend: Riptides can do better than that, especially when all your friends are turning green and being taken away to the dark side
Me: they are not sea-soned enough
Friend: Seasoning them takes thyme though

Me: I could just rose-marry them off
Friend: Well, do it gingerly
Me: that does not get to the root of the problem
Friend: Let's dig deeper!
Me: this conversation is getting too dirty
Friend: It's making me go bug-eyed. This is a pretty rocky finish.
Me: go to  the compile-oster  and debug
Friend: Or you could just get a flyswatter too
Me: if you cannot find a bug to squash get an ada-fruit
Friend:

Ar...duino anyone who has one?
C'mon, be Forth ward with me
Don't make me Assembly this all by my self
Me: yeah becuase you might aquire a lisp
Friend:
A common one, at that
We could make an Elixir to make it go away
Me: careful that a python does not eat it, I heard that they see sharp
Friend: see-ing is a plus, plus it's cool! Might wanna use it to find some rubies or perls
Me: yeah see-ing is good, especially visually in a studio apartment
Friend: Your studio apartment is a bit rust-y, you might wanna bash it up to make it look better.
Me: do not think so, it has been hashed over enough.
Friend: If you say so. I'll bring the vimcuum so you can clean the floors later and they can be functional.
Me: on the way up the stairs you might find an office, with a bunch of Word, a guy that can Power Point, and a Publisher office.
Friend: Microsoft? I don't like him, too pretentious. Libra, his cousin, is much better.
Me: but his house does not have any windows
Friend:
Neither does his brother Macintosh
Me:
but at least he has Mac-n-cheese
Friend:
...Mac-n-cheese is a bit over the top. He has some Apples, too, y'know.
All of them have bytes out of them, unfortunately