Gomba

This week I am also featuring someone else's random thought. Remember please comment if you have any weird or just a plain idea.

Gomba is a little known island in the Caribbean. The island has strangely unparalleled internet access, because there is only one computer there is a fifteen thousand dollar Xidax. It has about twenty people on modified exercise bikes to power it. The biggest building on the island is the Gaming Theater, which is like a movie theater, but it shows a live-stream from the Xidax. The PC is in the operators booth with the person playing inside sound proof walls so he/she wont be distracted from the cheering. Every time the PC is booted up the person who was playing rotates with another person via a special system using last names and the Pythagorean theorem. They may not be pros, but they're really good at what they do.

-The Entire Population of Gomba

Flying Cows Pt 3

 Tom's father "aka the Mushroom Man" neared his son introduced me to his father who is called, "John." A perfectly ordinary name for a uniquely attired person.

"Hello," I said, "Your son was just telling me all the work that you've been doing and all the help the aliens have given."

"You are the first person I've met outside of my family who the aliens have contacted."

"Really?" asked I, "Because I thought the aliens contacted insomniacs and I know a lot of insomniacs."

"Well, not every insomniac is intelligent enough to accept that there are other worlds that can support life and have done so for many years. I assume you are the first who realized it wasn't just a dream."

"They did give me some mushroom spores."

"MUSHROOM SPORES!!!!" Exclaimed John. "This is a great honor they have bestowed on me. Now I can communicate with them. You see, mushrooms are how the aliens found us. What are, a scientist?"

"Uh, yes I am a scientist."

Well then, scientists search for water looking for life, but you can't have food without photosynthesizing organisms. But they will die and need something to break down the plant matter. Mushrooms and fungi are great at that and when they reproduce, they send out spores into the air."

"Wait a second…mushrooms don’t send spores into space. Yes, I've seen videos on Youtube about mushrooms exploding, but they don't have that kind of power. You need rocket fuel."

"Ha! Well that is where you are wrong…not completely though. You are still thinking like every other scientist out there."

I was beginning to not like how this conversation was going. Yes, I know scientists aren't always right and that there are a lot of planets that have the potential for life and I know the definition of life…but mushrooms? Tin foil hats? This  was sounding too much like a conspiracy theory crackpots trying to initiate someone else into their group. I know that I am strange in the sense I like new information. But I like tested information.  Question everything and follow the evidence is my motto. The issue here is that if he is right, then there is a whole world of possibilities. Oh and the cows and the weird trees. We do have genetic engineering that could possibly make trees like that. The part that doesn't fit is levitating cows. I could understand flying lizards, fish, extremely large flying insects, but cows? There is no record of such creatures existing in the fossil record and I'm pretty sure they don't have DNA that could be manipulated. There must be some environmental factor.

"You probably think that I’m a nutcase, right?"

"Well, you do have to admit is a little strange to see people wearing tin foil hats, eating mushrooms and saying the aliens  gave you special knowledge and only a select know."

"Hahaha, yes you are right, but it is not a conspiracy and the aliens do exist and I will tell you all that I know. This I will say just in case you have read too many sci-fi novels, they are not here to harm us, but to explore. Think of them as those who understand a lot more about science than we do."

"Okay, I am curious though, especially about the cows. When I seem them, I keep thinking that I may be hallucinating. Is there an explanation for that."

"Oh, yes, and I want to offer you something to eat, but I think I should explain before you eat just in case you think I may use mushrooms to help my cause" he said with a smile.

I must admit, they both seemed like nice people who were just happy that someone else was also interested in the same   things they were, but there was a part of me that said to walk away, but those cows…my curiosity outweighed my hesitation and I listened to this strange tale that even if not true was still quite interesting in and of itself.

-Signy

Remember that if you have any weird random or plain normal ideas please tell me in the comments.

Happy Valentines Day Loyal Fans..... From my heart

The sweltering sun beat mercilessly down upon the inhabitants of  the Incan city. A casual observer would notice that the drab stone houses were devoid of their normal occupants. If that same visitor were to travel through the center of the city he would come to the temple where all the villages inhabitants were gathered. One might ask what event caused this displacement of inhabitants from their normal duties. The answer lies in the top of the temple where the chief priest, dressed in all the colors of a garden in spring, stood surrounded by the other priests dressed in a similar garb. For this was sacrifice day. Upon the unforgiving cold stone alter bespattered with blood lay the helpless sacrifice. Some unfortunate soul that could have come from a battle or maybe he just happened to be at the wrong place in the wrong time. It mattered not where. The victim screamed and pleaded to be released, but his pleas landed on deaf ears as the priests gagged him and bound him to that hard alter. The sacrifice gave one last gallant effort to break free of his cruel bonds and then fell silent as he awaited his doom. The priest raised his right hand high above his soon to be sacrifice as the fingers of the priest clenched his curved obsidian knife. Would he relent? Would he release his victim out of a moment of love and compassion? NO! The hand of the priest flew in a devilish downward arc. Like a lion pouncing on his panic stricken prey, the knife cut ever downward. Down to the chest of the victim. Down to the death of this innocent soul the hand of the priest flew like the bird of prey represented on the helmet that the priest bore. Now the priest has plunged the knife into the soft flesh of his victim. The priest's prey gave one last utterance and lay forever quiet as the predator lifted up its victims heart up to the sun. As the blood streamed down the priests once colorful robes something unexpected happened. The heart slipped out the priests hands and fell to the stone floor of the temple. The crowd gasped. This had never happened before. Ashamed that he had spoiled the ceremony, the priest bent down to pick up the heart. Suddenly the heart stood up on its life giving veins and unsheathed a small dagger. Like Beowulf killing the dragon, the heart stabbed the priest multiple times. The hunter became the hunted. The predator became the prey as the heart of the priest's victim slew the priest. As he lay dying the priest gasped. Help I am having a heart attack!!!

Happy Valentines Day!
Please do not have a heart attack or get attacked by heart!

Flying Cows pt. 2

Last night, I wasn't sleeping and looked outside my bedroom window and saw an alien planting mushrooms.  These were special mushrooms which glowed. My curiosity overwhelmed me and I quickly went outside. The alien approached me and I had no idea how I should respond. The alien greeted me saying, "Greetings, oh sleepless one! I was wondering when you would come." I was taken aback by this seemingly polite greeting and I managed to say, "Well, it isn't every night that I have seen a visitor from a distant land planting glowing mushrooms."

"Ah, yes our race takes care of the mushrooms in the galaxy, and the mushrooms send us signals about what happens here on earth." 

"But I have dissected mushrooms and we eat mushrooms all the time."

Well, I will explain more to you later on about the importance of mushrooms to the universe, but here are instructions for you to meet another one like yourself who grows vegetables, but also has been instructed on how to train cows to resist gravity."

"I have been taught that gravity is a constant."

"Oh, yes gravity is a constant to those who sleep." Now I could understand that, because there have been times when my lack of sleep has caused me to feel light headed…maybe I was levitating…Anyway I nodded my head since apparently I had much to "learn." asked the alien how otherworldy the instructions were and the alien replied, "They are directions using roads and your what do you call them? Oh, that's right a car. Here are the mushroom spores to give to this farmer.

"I must be going," said the alien, "You should visit the farmer as soon as your time allows." And the alien just disappeared. I walked back inside and went to bed not expecting to sleep, but to think. In the morning, I arose and thought over the events of the previous night. I spent time trying to figure out how much was my own imaginings and how much was real. Well, I had the mushroom spores and directions to the farm. Those aliens know how to prey upon my curiosity. Isn't there a saying that curiosity killed the cat? Anyway, I set off in my car and the directions were detailed and led me there. My only complaint was the traffic leaving town. The farm was located near the coast which has an excellent climate for growing mushrooms, and was surround by hills. This protected it from any passing cars. It felt really strange to be visiting a complete stranger's house/place of business for no other reason than dropping off mushroom spores that some creature from another solar system or galaxy gave me the night before. I guess I could give the farmer the excuse that I must have been hallucinating. As these thoughts were going through my head, I parked my car and got out. I didn't see anyone at first, but then the clouds parted and the sun shone. I noticed something shiny. Knowing that conspiracy theorists like tin foil hats, I had a funny idea enter my head and I decided to follow it. Thus, I walked toward the shiny object. As I walked closer, I saw a barn and a man wearing a ten gallon tin foil hat mixing what appeared to be feed.

-Signy

Sure pigs can fly, but what about cows? Part 1

I thought that I should include some outside talent. This next work is by a friend of mine.

If you have a weird idea please comment and I might post it and give you a shout-out.

Last night, I wasn't sleeping and looked outside my bedroom window and saw an alien planting mushrooms.  These were special mushrooms which glowed. My curiosity overwhelmed me and I quickly went outside. The alien approached me and I had no idea how I should respond. The alien greeted me saying, "Greetings, oh sleepless one! I was wondering when you would come." I was taken aback by this seemingly polite greeting and I managed to say, "Well, it isn't every night that I have seen a visitor from a distant land planting glowing mushrooms."

"Ah, yes our race takes care of the mushrooms in the galaxy, and the mushrooms send us signals about what happens here on earth." 

"But I have dissected mushrooms and we eat mushrooms all the time."

Well, I will explain more to you later on about the importance of mushrooms to the universe, but here are instructions for you to meet another one like yourself who grows vegetables, but also has been instructed on how to train cows to resist gravity."

"I have been taught that gravity is a constant."

"Oh, yes gravity is a constant to those who sleep." Now I could understand that, because there have been times when my lack of sleep has caused me to feel light headed…maybe I was levitating…Anyway I nodded my head since apparently I had much to "learn." asked the alien how otherworldy the instructions were and the alien replied, "They are directions using roads and your what do you call them? Oh, that's right a car. Here are the mushroom spores to give to this farmer.

"I must be going," said the alien, "You should visit the farmer as soon as your time allows." And the alien just disappeared. I walked back inside and went to bed not expecting to sleep, but to think. In the morning, I arose and thought over the events of the previous night. I spent time trying to figure out how much was my own imaginings and how much was real. Well, I had the mushroom spores and directions to the farm. Those aliens know how to prey upon my curiosity. Isn't there a saying that curiosity killed the cat? Anyway, I set off in my car and the directions were detailed and led me there. My only complaint was the traffic leaving town. The farm was located near the coast which has an excellent climate for growing mushrooms, and was surround by hills. This protected it from any passing cars. It felt really strange to be visiting a complete stranger's house/place of business for no other reason than dropping off mushroom spores that some creature from another solar system or galaxy gave me the night before. I guess I could give the farmer the excuse that I must have been hallucinating. As these thoughts were going through my head, I parked my car and got out. I didn't see anyone at first, but then the clouds parted and the sun shone. I noticed something shiny. Knowing that conspiracy theorists like tin foil hats, I had a funny idea enter my head and I decided to follow

-Signy

Happy New Year!!

With the new year dawning like the sun rising over the earth, it provides a great time for reflecting on time. Its the age old question that philosophers throughout time have pondered. So why not Random Thought Thursdays? Its already kind of philosophical.
Time is nothing but Jell-O. This is because Jell-O tastes good. Just as long as you do not remember that you are eating pig's fat. What does this have to do with time? Time is like Jell-O because when ever you try to eat it, it disappears. This is like time because if you try to observe time it moves on.
Another observation about time is that if time flies, than what happens when it approaches the speed of light? As you know, the faster you travel the slower time flows so...
People complain about not having enough time. This puzzles me because if time is like Jell-O wouldn't it get old after having to eat it because your wisdom teeth were removed?
Anyway Happy New Year!
Cannot wait to see what weird things I will think of during the next year.

I should really post these on Thursday, but in the words of a knowing chaotician, "when you have an idea, you have an idea".

I was wondering, if you were forced to eat the piece of technology that you are reading this post on, how would you prep it? Would you put it in a hotdog bun? or maybe add ketchup and mustard. Today I will answer that question case by case incase you are forced to eat your phone or laptop.
Smart Phone: This one you would want to microwave and stick in a hotdog bun. Also add some   ketchup, lettuce, and pickle relish.
Tablet: Think turkey that was hit with a steamroller. Soak in salt for one day and cook until all the water is evaporated. Be careful that you do not cook it too long or it will get black and burnt. Some rosemary garnish would also improve the flavor.
Laptop: A laptop is nothing but a big tortilla. Have fun stuffing your laptop with sumptuous meets, spices and vegetables.
Monitor/Tower: Treat the monitor like a steak and the tower like last years thanksgiving leftovers.
If your monitor is small enough, fry it up on the barbeque and serve with sautéed onions. Add water and heat up the tower in the microwave until the microwave starts smoking.

Great! now you know how to eat your gadgets incase? Hmm... I am going to have to think about that one. Maybe someone mugs you and says that you have one day to eat your smartphone?
Post your answer in the comments. I'm stumped.