Saturday, January 16, 2016

Sure pigs can fly, but what about cows? Part 1

I thought that I should include some outside talent. This next work is by a friend of mine.
If you have a weird idea please comment and I might post it and give you a shout-out.

Last night, I wasn't sleeping and looked outside my bedroom window and saw an alien planting mushrooms.  These were special mushrooms which glowed. My curiosity overwhelmed me and I quickly went outside. The alien approached me and I had no idea how I should respond. The alien greeted me saying, "Greetings, oh sleepless one! I was wondering when you would come." I was taken aback by this seemingly polite greeting and I managed to say, "Well, it isn't every night that I have seen a visitor from a distant land planting glowing mushrooms."

"Ah, yes our race takes care of the mushrooms in the galaxy, and the mushrooms send us signals about what happens here on earth." 

"But I have dissected mushrooms and we eat mushrooms all the time."

Well, I will explain more to you later on about the importance of mushrooms to the universe, but here are instructions for you to meet another one like yourself who grows vegetables, but also has been instructed on how to train cows to resist gravity."

"I have been taught that gravity is a constant."

"Oh, yes gravity is a constant to those who sleep." Now I could understand that, because there have been times when my lack of sleep has caused me to feel light headed…maybe I was levitating…Anyway I nodded my head since apparently I had much to "learn." asked the alien how otherworldy the instructions were and the alien replied, "They are directions using roads and your what do you call them? Oh, that's right a car. Here are the mushroom spores to give to this farmer.
"I must be going," said the alien, "You should visit the farmer as soon as your time allows." And the alien just disappeared. I walked back inside and went to bed not expecting to sleep, but to think. In the morning, I arose and thought over the events of the previous night. I spent time trying to figure out how much was my own imaginings and how much was real. Well, I had the mushroom spores and directions to the farm. Those aliens know how to prey upon my curiosity. Isn't there a saying that curiosity killed the cat? Anyway, I set off in my car and the directions were detailed and led me there. My only complaint was the traffic leaving town. The farm was located near the coast which has an excellent climate for growing mushrooms, and was surround by hills. This protected it from any passing cars. It felt really strange to be visiting a complete stranger's house/place of business for no other reason than dropping off mushroom spores that some creature from another solar system or galaxy gave me the night before. I guess I could give the farmer the excuse that I must have been hallucinating. As these thoughts were going through my head, I parked my car and got out. I didn't see anyone at first, but then the clouds parted and the sun shone. I noticed something shiny. Knowing that conspiracy theorists like tin foil hats, I had a funny idea enter my head and I decided to follow