Thursday, June 18, 2015

Graduation Season

Ah the lovely hard seats, the smell of old buildings, and the prattle of pointless chatter. Yup definitely graduation season.
Here is a list of things to keep you occupied during long boring speeches, or long boring graduations.

1. Count the mole: Try to arrange to be seated behind a bald or short haired person. Then see how     many moles and warts you can spot. Afterwards you can give the full tally to the person.

2. Rate the speaker: This only works if multiple people are speaking. Rate the speeches on a scale of 1-10, with ten being amazing and 1 being terrible. I deduct one point every time the speaker cries while talking, and two if it gets too long. I add a point if the speaker says something funny.

3.  Think of all the funny things you would shout at the person speaking if you did not have your reputation at stake. A classic is "BORRING".  I do not recommend saying any of the things you come up with aloud of course.

4. Try to imagine the speaker with head fat, and then in an army uniform with that head fat.