Thursday, April 14, 2016

An adventure

Today I was engaging in that necessary pursuit, cooking. Sigh. Without it I would starve, with it I have to reallocate time to the collection and stirring of various substances to make something that tastes slightly better. Oh well. Anyway I was engaging in this pursuit when discovered that I had run out of sugar. As a result I went questing into the dark caverns dubbed the ominous term "The Garage" in order to climb a tall freezer and retrieve the much needed bag of sugar. Just after I retrieved the parcel of glucose I spotted a cookie tin. "Halloo what is this here? A leftover from Christmas overlooked by the hungry creatures that inhabit the garage? As I walked closer to this treasure chest I realized that I in my hurry to complete the quest I had not engaged in any of the dungeon monsters. For there walking across a lid dating from the Mesozoic era crawled a sugar ant. I made a mental note of it and continued my walk to the tin. Joy upon joy this chest did contain loot! Unfortunately it was just the oatmeal raisin cookies that were made using the wrong recipe. Not to be deterred I placed the whole morsel into my mouth. As I approached the daylight, the undefeated dungeon boss crawled out of the shadows and challenged me as to what I had eaten. It said something like "thou hastes stolen from my hoard and will pay dearly." I forgot the real words but it was something of the sort. In order to reply I spat out the contents of my mouth onto my hand. I said, "My apologies ma'am, I did not know these were off limits." Puffing smoke from her nostrils she replied,"Tho would be well advised not to do that again and incur my wrath".
The glorious light greeted my glad face as I calmly walked out of The Garage with the gelatinous glop of cookie in my right palm. I had conquered The Garage once again and claimed my prize. I was the victor and to the victor belongs the spoils. Seconds before I stuck the dead cookie in my mouth I noticed something was aloof. Upon further examination I saw what appeared to be a tiny leg and then a tiny torso that had tiny wings. What sort of treachery was this? What villain hath tainted my spoils? If I had not scrupulously inspected the gelatinous mixture, it would have put an end to my cooking and possibly an end to my adventures. For their it was, ants. Sigh! Perhaps I shall not die for ants are a delicacy in many cultures so perhaps it was a sign of hospitality. After recovering from shock I finished baking my quest, and made a mixture that was slightly better than its parts.