Flying Cows pt. 2

Last night, I wasn't sleeping and looked outside my bedroom window and saw an alien planting mushrooms.  These were special mushrooms which glowed. My curiosity overwhelmed me and I quickly went outside. The alien approached me and I had no idea how I should respond. The alien greeted me saying, "Greetings, oh sleepless one! I was wondering when you would come." I was taken aback by this seemingly polite greeting and I managed to say, "Well, it isn't every night that I have seen a visitor from a distant land planting glowing mushrooms."

"Ah, yes our race takes care of the mushrooms in the galaxy, and the mushrooms send us signals about what happens here on earth." 

"But I have dissected mushrooms and we eat mushrooms all the time."

Well, I will explain more to you later on about the importance of mushrooms to the universe, but here are instructions for you to meet another one like yourself who grows vegetables, but also has been instructed on how to train cows to resist gravity."

"I have been taught that gravity is a constant."

"Oh, yes gravity is a constant to those who sleep." Now I could understand that, because there have been times when my lack of sleep has caused me to feel light headed…maybe I was levitating…Anyway I nodded my head since apparently I had much to "learn." asked the alien how otherworldy the instructions were and the alien replied, "They are directions using roads and your what do you call them? Oh, that's right a car. Here are the mushroom spores to give to this farmer.

"I must be going," said the alien, "You should visit the farmer as soon as your time allows." And the alien just disappeared. I walked back inside and went to bed not expecting to sleep, but to think. In the morning, I arose and thought over the events of the previous night. I spent time trying to figure out how much was my own imaginings and how much was real. Well, I had the mushroom spores and directions to the farm. Those aliens know how to prey upon my curiosity. Isn't there a saying that curiosity killed the cat? Anyway, I set off in my car and the directions were detailed and led me there. My only complaint was the traffic leaving town. The farm was located near the coast which has an excellent climate for growing mushrooms, and was surround by hills. This protected it from any passing cars. It felt really strange to be visiting a complete stranger's house/place of business for no other reason than dropping off mushroom spores that some creature from another solar system or galaxy gave me the night before. I guess I could give the farmer the excuse that I must have been hallucinating. As these thoughts were going through my head, I parked my car and got out. I didn't see anyone at first, but then the clouds parted and the sun shone. I noticed something shiny. Knowing that conspiracy theorists like tin foil hats, I had a funny idea enter my head and I decided to follow it. Thus, I walked toward the shiny object. As I walked closer, I saw a barn and a man wearing a ten gallon tin foil hat mixing what appeared to be feed.

-Signy

Sure pigs can fly, but what about cows? Part 1

I thought that I should include some outside talent. This next work is by a friend of mine.

If you have a weird idea please comment and I might post it and give you a shout-out.

Last night, I wasn't sleeping and looked outside my bedroom window and saw an alien planting mushrooms.  These were special mushrooms which glowed. My curiosity overwhelmed me and I quickly went outside. The alien approached me and I had no idea how I should respond. The alien greeted me saying, "Greetings, oh sleepless one! I was wondering when you would come." I was taken aback by this seemingly polite greeting and I managed to say, "Well, it isn't every night that I have seen a visitor from a distant land planting glowing mushrooms."

"Ah, yes our race takes care of the mushrooms in the galaxy, and the mushrooms send us signals about what happens here on earth." 

"But I have dissected mushrooms and we eat mushrooms all the time."

Well, I will explain more to you later on about the importance of mushrooms to the universe, but here are instructions for you to meet another one like yourself who grows vegetables, but also has been instructed on how to train cows to resist gravity."

"I have been taught that gravity is a constant."

"Oh, yes gravity is a constant to those who sleep." Now I could understand that, because there have been times when my lack of sleep has caused me to feel light headed…maybe I was levitating…Anyway I nodded my head since apparently I had much to "learn." asked the alien how otherworldy the instructions were and the alien replied, "They are directions using roads and your what do you call them? Oh, that's right a car. Here are the mushroom spores to give to this farmer.

"I must be going," said the alien, "You should visit the farmer as soon as your time allows." And the alien just disappeared. I walked back inside and went to bed not expecting to sleep, but to think. In the morning, I arose and thought over the events of the previous night. I spent time trying to figure out how much was my own imaginings and how much was real. Well, I had the mushroom spores and directions to the farm. Those aliens know how to prey upon my curiosity. Isn't there a saying that curiosity killed the cat? Anyway, I set off in my car and the directions were detailed and led me there. My only complaint was the traffic leaving town. The farm was located near the coast which has an excellent climate for growing mushrooms, and was surround by hills. This protected it from any passing cars. It felt really strange to be visiting a complete stranger's house/place of business for no other reason than dropping off mushroom spores that some creature from another solar system or galaxy gave me the night before. I guess I could give the farmer the excuse that I must have been hallucinating. As these thoughts were going through my head, I parked my car and got out. I didn't see anyone at first, but then the clouds parted and the sun shone. I noticed something shiny. Knowing that conspiracy theorists like tin foil hats, I had a funny idea enter my head and I decided to follow

-Signy

Happy New Year!!

With the new year dawning like the sun rising over the earth, it provides a great time for reflecting on time. Its the age old question that philosophers throughout time have pondered. So why not Random Thought Thursdays? Its already kind of philosophical.
Time is nothing but Jell-O. This is because Jell-O tastes good. Just as long as you do not remember that you are eating pig's fat. What does this have to do with time? Time is like Jell-O because when ever you try to eat it, it disappears. This is like time because if you try to observe time it moves on.
Another observation about time is that if time flies, than what happens when it approaches the speed of light? As you know, the faster you travel the slower time flows so...
People complain about not having enough time. This puzzles me because if time is like Jell-O wouldn't it get old after having to eat it because your wisdom teeth were removed?
Anyway Happy New Year!
Cannot wait to see what weird things I will think of during the next year.

I should really post these on Thursday, but in the words of a knowing chaotician, "when you have an idea, you have an idea".

I was wondering, if you were forced to eat the piece of technology that you are reading this post on, how would you prep it? Would you put it in a hotdog bun? or maybe add ketchup and mustard. Today I will answer that question case by case incase you are forced to eat your phone or laptop.
Smart Phone: This one you would want to microwave and stick in a hotdog bun. Also add some   ketchup, lettuce, and pickle relish.
Tablet: Think turkey that was hit with a steamroller. Soak in salt for one day and cook until all the water is evaporated. Be careful that you do not cook it too long or it will get black and burnt. Some rosemary garnish would also improve the flavor.
Laptop: A laptop is nothing but a big tortilla. Have fun stuffing your laptop with sumptuous meets, spices and vegetables.
Monitor/Tower: Treat the monitor like a steak and the tower like last years thanksgiving leftovers.
If your monitor is small enough, fry it up on the barbeque and serve with sautéed onions. Add water and heat up the tower in the microwave until the microwave starts smoking.

Great! now you know how to eat your gadgets incase? Hmm... I am going to have to think about that one. Maybe someone mugs you and says that you have one day to eat your smartphone?
Post your answer in the comments. I'm stumped.

?

A friend told me that if you look deep enough into someone's eyes, you will see pop tarts. Now what any sensible person would do would be to use a fishing pole and fish the pop tarts out of the persons eyes. Hahah! hmm. I am hungry. Be right back after a word from our sponsors. "Hello! Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life? Do you get pangs emanating from you stomach? I have the answer. It is called food. All you do is find something edible and stick it in an opening just underneath your nose called your mouth. After chewing carefully please swallow. This easy remedy should solve all of your hunger problems." Hey it me again! Yes I am still posting, still being weird, and still existing. So what was the random thought for this week? Oh yeah the pop tarts. I wonder how they got their name. First they do not reassemble anybody's father (I hope. If you do have a father that looks like a pop tart, then wow!) secondly they are the opposite of tart. Actually they are quite sweet.

Movie idea

I was thinking about it and I guess I can have somewhat serious ideas on here. It is random thought Thursdays, but does that mean serious thoughts? I guess that serious thoughts are probably the most random so it does qualify.
In most movies the villain has the psychopathy. It makes sense because psychopathy enables the person who has it to kill without feeling. In addition it is easy to dehumanize them because they do not have feelings or emotions.
With that said, I think that it would make an excellent movie premise if the hero is psychopathic. You may be wondering how on earth could this work? Despite all its downsides, psychopathy does have its positive sides. Not having emotions can strengthen a person just as easily as making them a killer. Think about it. If the hero is in a situation that would make a normal person panic our hero would coolly figure out how to get himself out of the situation. The hero would also have to cope with the bad sides of psychopathy to make it more interesting.

speaking of splendid spacious spectacular stinted snikering spiders...

Do spiders enjoy life? Seriously do spiders enjoy life?
When you flush them down the toilet do they get an exciting adrenalin rush of going at high speeds?
I would think that spider get a sense of accomplishment when they win a battle with a wasp and have a juicy dinner. Maybe spiders have legends about other spiders. Like maybe a legend about the first spider in space. I also wonder if they get depressed when they are about to be smashed (pun kind of unintended, well who am I kidding, that was 100% intended.
So next time you want to squish a spider remember that they have feelings (maybe). Then remember right after thinking about that, that their are millions of spiders, so go ahead and squish it as it will have a negligible effect on the ecosystem.